


Swear Jar

by pearliegrimm



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Original Doggo Characters - Freeform, Swearing, yuri should have his own warning tag tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 04:51:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8876689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pearliegrimm/pseuds/pearliegrimm
Summary: To keep Yurio's callous mouth from the gutter, both Viktor and Yuuri decide to put a swear jar into the equation when the little Russian punk comes to stay.Needless to say, they lived like kings after he left.   -Français Version-





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm here again with another YOI fic.  
> This one shot features Maccachin's doggo children from my last one shot right [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8715889)
> 
>  But it's not vital to the story at all so it doesn't really matter lmaooo.  
> Thanks to the commenter who thought of their names for me it was genius!!  
> Anyway please enjoy ^_^

It’s a pleasant surprise when Yuri Plisetsky calls the hot spring one sunny evening in Hasetsu. Viktor nor Yuuri had heard from him in a matter of months, and like the doting, (almost father-like) figures they were. They had begun worrying slightly for the tiny Russian punk.

Needless to say he was as brash as ever, which actually came as a relief to the pair residing in Japan. When Yurio was _quiet_ , that was when they usually freaked out.

“Yurio, _konbawa_!” Viktor cheers as he’s handed the phone by Hiroko. His slightly broken Japanese making her chuckle.

Smiling right back, Viktor presses at the phone to put it on speaker, holding the device near Yuuri so he could speak as well.

“ _Dobryj vyechyer_ , Yurio!” Yuuri says pleasantly, he’d heard Viktor say that phrase all the time on the phone and hoped he was using it right.

“ _Oh my God, Yuuri_ , that was amazing please say that again.” Viktor squeals, his face going pink before he speaks into the skater’s ear. _“Talk Russian to me.”_

“Viktor, we’re on the phone.” Yuuri laughs, playfully slapping the man’s arm. _“Maybe later.”_ He whispers right back.

Not quiet enough though, Yurio audibly scowls (somehow) at the completely **gross** old people on the other line and almost rethinks what he’s about to say.

_Almost._

“I have an _entire_ shitty month off from Yakov’s ridiculous fucking training regimen and there’s no way in frosty cold hell that I’d stay with him and Lilia more than I already have to. I’m coming to Japan. Don’t pull any weird shit.”

“Us? Weird? No~” Viktor exclaims, sing-song.

“Fuck off.”

“You really shouldn’t swear so much, Yurio. All the acid will disintegrate your tongue.” The other Russian informs earnestly, clicking his own tongue for emphasis.

Yurio huffs.

“When are you coming? We’ll pick you up.” Yuuri offers helpfully, knowing that Yurio definitely couldn’t drive by himself yet.

God forbid whenever that would happen.

“Tomorrow.”

What?

 ** _“Tomorrow!?”_** The pair exclaim.

Yurio grunts, never one to repeat himself. “Pick me up at three.”

He doesn’t say anything else before he hangs up.

Both Viktor and Yuuri breathe a sigh of pure exasperation. Flopping down on to the floor to discuss what had just happened.

Calls with Yurio never were… normal.

“That kid doesn’t know how to be calm.” Yuuri sighs. “Or how to plan things out with other people…” He adds on as an afterthought. Making a mental note to inform his mother of the predicament they were now in. He was sure she wouldn't mind.

“Not since I’ve known him.” Viktor returns, folding his arms over his chest.

“To be fair though, you do seem to rile him up.”

Viktor chuckles, “I’m not at fault for his atrocious language though, he really needs to control himself... He’s lost so many points from judges for yelling expletives when he messes up jumps.”

“Hmm, yeah.” Yuuri mumbles in thought.

What if there was a way to stop such a thing…

\---

It’s about three in the morning when Yuuri bolts upright from his bed.

 _“Swear Jar!”_ He exclaims. Promptly waking up one disgruntled Russian and four dogs.

“Yuuri what’s wrong?” Viktor yawns, wiping the sleep out of his eyes. An adorable strand of hair sticking right up at the top of his head.

“For Yurio, to get him to stop cursing all the time!” Yuuri returns, enlightened. He then realises he may have to elaborate. “Celestino used to do it back in Detroit when the other skaters wouldn’t stop cursing. They had to put one dollar into the jar every time they said a bad word. They stopped after about a month on instinct!”

“Yuuri that’s a great idea!” Viktor says as excitedly as possible after being startled so early in the morning (night?)

Yuuri, almost as if he was finally realising the time of day (or night) promptly put a hand over his mouth. “Sorry.” He apologises, the syllables muffled against his hand.

He turns his guilty gaze to the dogs returning to sleep on the foot of his and Viktor’s bed.

Maccachin and his three Maccachildren look at him with heavily lidded eyes. It was lucky that he and Viktor had gotten the three tiny poodles special collars with their names on them. Otherwise the pair of them wouldn’t be able to tell all three of them apart.

Ka-Chan, Tsucchin and Don-Kun were all products of Maccachin being just a bit too promiscuous with one of the neighbour’s poodles. Yuuri suspects he and Viktor had it planned all along.

Viktor kept calling the little dogs his children which led Yuuri to believe that he either thought his old poodle and him were married or that he was the father of every single dog in the world.

Maybe it was a bit of both.

Nevertheless, you can never have too many dogs.

\---

The next morning, Yuuri proudly slams down an empty jar on the breakfast table. Giving Viktor a look as if he should know what that meant.

The Russian just raises one perfectly shaped eyebrow.

“Do you remember what I said to you at all last night?” Yuuri puts his hands on his hips, trying his best to look cross.

Viktor doesn’t even try to lie, “Nope.”

“Swear Jar. For Yurio. Everytime he swears he has to put a dollar, 100 yen or like-“ Yuuri calculates in his head for a minute, his fingers twitching as he counted. “77 Russian Rubles into the jar.”

Viktor’s eyes widen, the memory coming to him like a dream. He nods in affirmation before taking a sip of his miso soup.

“Maybe we can finally get the tiger to stop its poisonous roar.”

Yuuri looks at him quizzically, “tigers don’t have venom in their body.”

Viktor hushes him with a finger to his lips, "it’s a metaphor, just let me be cool.”

“Good luck with that.”

“Hey!” Viktor chastises, promptly tackling the younger man into a hug. They both land with an ‘oof’ onto the ground. “You thought I was cool before. I recall you having posters of me all over you walls-”

Yuuri gives him a cheeky grin. “Yeah. But then I lived with you for over a year. You’re just as dorky as the rest of us _Vitya._ ”

Viktor shivers at the sound of his name on Yuuri tongue before kissing the man on his pointy little nose.

_Yuuri knew Viktor loved when he called him that. That wasn’t fair._

“Hmph, so unkind Yuuri, It’s a good thing that I love you.” 

“I love you too.”

\---

The day goes by lazily as a weekend should. Yuuri and Viktor relax for as long as possible before they have to pick up Yurio and the day is overall a wonderful one. It’s only about an hour before they set off that Yuuri gets a thought in his head that he can’t shake out.

_Just why did Yuri want to visit?_

It was kind of strange now that he thought about it. It wasn’t like last time. Viktor hadn’t just up and left out of the blue leaving without fulfilling a promise.

At least not that he knew of.

Strange…

“What’s on your mind, Yuuri?” Viktor mumbles his hand holding up his head, brushing a stray strand of hair out of Yuuri’s eyes.

“Did you promise Yurio something and forget about it again?”

Viktor purses his lips in thought. “Not that I know of.”

Yuuri turns his body so his back lay flat on the floor, his face angles towards the yellowing ceiling.

“Strange…” 

Yurio was weird. That was a fact. If he wanted to come to Japan for some special reason or even a whim he wouldn’t put it past him. Yuuri figured he’d leave it for fate to decide whether or not the Tiger of Russia would be willing to tell them. Either way, Yuuri was sure he’d find out somehow.

\---

Yurio sticks out like a sore thumb at the airport. With his animal print- well, everything and his permanent scowl. His diminutive height doesn’t really effect his overall appearance especially when he holds himself like he’s ten feet tall.

Viktor spots him first and drags Yuuri along too.

And in the true Viktor way he conducts himself- he grabs Yurio in a hug so tight the blonde turns red in the face.

Oh, maybe he was just embarrassed.

“Get the fuck off me!” He grumbles, his jetlagged self being much less ‘intense’ than normal.

But still just as grumpy.

Viktor grins at him and then winks at Yuuri. “Looks like we’re already making money.”

Yurio gives him a quizzically pissed off look and then turns to Yuuri in question.

“We’ll explain in the car.”

\---

“No fucking way am I complying with something as bullshit as that!” The Russian tiger yells from the backseat of the car. It almost seemed like he was a toddler with the mouth of a sailor.

The pair in the front exchange glances.

“Another two dollars, Yurio.” Viktor mentions helpfully.

“Not when I didn’t say yes.”

“Oh yeah? No Katsudon then.” Viktor scolds simply, stating it so matter-of-factly that Yuuri suspects he’d thought of these conditions beforehand.

It works.

Yurio’s jaw slackens.

“What?”

“You don’t comply. _No Katsudon_.”

“That’s not fair!” The blonde sputters, his fists balling up angrily.

“You get free accommodation, I think this is a fair trade.”

“Hmph.”

Yuuri turns to smile at Yuri, trying to soften the atmosphere. “Our neighbour’s cat just had kittens. If you want we can go see them.”

Yurio takes the bait, his eyes shining with wonder. His chest felt all tight from the thought of kittens in close proximity for an entire month.

 Changing his sneer into just a plain frown, he swallows his pride like a pill. “Okay. Fine. I’ll agree to this bullshi-“ he stops himself just in time by putting a hand over his mouth.

Yurio groans, looking down to the floor of the car.

This would be tough.

He doesn’t notice Yuuri and Viktor giving each other a solid high five from the front seat.

\---

Upon arrival the two force Yuuri to give up the money for the three expletives he’d spewed when they’d driven here.

The boy had apparently come prepared as opposed to last time. Begrudgingly placing 300 yen into the empty Mason jar Yuuri had placed on a dining table.

This would certainly be an interesting trip.

“Now take me to the kittens.” He demands, glaring daggers at Yuuri. Not really in a hostile kind of way but in a kind of _‘I want to fucking see some kittens right now’_ kind of way.

Yuuri looks at him, smug. “Say please.”

“Oh for fu-“ Yurio clears his throat, his mind flashing to the jar. “Oh for goodness sake, is that really needed?”

“Yes.”

Yurio thinks of the mewling kittens, their tiny paws pink and fluffy and grits out a tiny “ _please._ ”

Viktor just stands back, watching the scene. Wondering just how in the world he got to be with someone as smart as Yuuri.

\---

“So does this apply to you guys too?” Yurio says, tucked into the brand new winter _kotatsu_ rather snuggly. He gestures to the now (technically) filled jar on the middle of the table.

Viktor and Yuuri share glances.

“We don’t really swear.”

Yurio screws up his nose, fishes another 100 yen out of his pocket and throws it in the jar before declaring that; “Bullshit.”

“The Japanese language doesn’t really have swear words per see and all the ones I learnt when I was in America were… Way too filthy.” Yuuri answers. “Besides I don’t really have a reason to use them most of the time.”

“I, personally think they have more impact if you say it less.” Viktor declares truthfully, siding with Yuuri, of course.

“But if it means that much to you. When we swear while you’re here. Feel free to tell us to put money in the jar…”

The trio don’t get much talk in after that because Yuuri’s mother soon arrives with three steaming hot bowls of Katsudon that look far too tempting and far too dangerous to be beneficial to your health.

It would be an fascinating stay with Yurio here. That was for sure.

But then again, it never was boring at the Katsuki hot springs.

 

-Week One-

Total money count 1200 yen:

Despite the 300 yen already in there. Yurio doesn’t really see it as incentive to stop swearing yet. By the end of the week he’s sworn nine more times. But at least he’s more aware of it.

 

On Wednesday they’re playing Jenga, which was already a bad idea. When Yurio lets out the most impressive string of colourful words Yuuri had ever heard in his life.

“Holy shit, I swear to God, you fucking shit bitch tower I will shove this fucking block up your ass if you so much as wobble again.”

“A down payment on a house doesn’t sound so far away right now.” Viktor whispers into Yuuri’s ear as the blonde glares another 600 yen into the jar.

Yuuri wins Jenga, inevitably he was better than both Viktor and Yurio purely because he played it way more with his sister than they ever would. And boy was she a sore loser.

Not nearly as sore as Yurio, though.

He storms off somewhere afterwards and both Viktor and Yuuri don’t see him for the rest of the night.

 

The next three times that week, Yurio stubs his toe on the same jutting out piece of wall just before the exit to his room during the night.

‘ _Fuck’_ is now the new mantra of an angered foreigner ghost haunting the inn at night according to the regulars.

Well, they’re not entirely wrong.

 

-Week 2-

Total money count: 3200 Yen.

Yurio is pretty docile for most of the week. He keeps quiet most of the time, having settled in a bit more he’s a lot more calm.

Except for the night they decide to watch TV.

They skim across channels and finally come across a certain show doing a special on no one else but the one and only Jean-Jaques Leroy, otherwise known as JJ.

Yurio gets up quietly from his spot on the floor. Rifles through his wallet and then makes dead silent eye contact with both Viktor and Yuuri as he drops a 2,000 yen note in the jar and then _unleashes._

 

-Week 3-

Total money count: 5200 yen.

Yurio seems to have learned to curse in his head because Viktor has seen him stub his toe on multiple things and he just takes a breath and moves on.

It’s quite majestic, really. He can only hope that he stays this way.

With calm there’s usually a storm, but Viktor can only pray that this is an exception.

 

Meanwhile, Yuuri’s patience and curiosity concerning Yurio has finally bursted at some point because the next time he sees the blonde he straight up asks him why he wanted to come visit.

Viktor spits out his drink, not ever seeing Yuuri as forward as this.

As opposed to the usual defensive answer they might expect though, Yurio just furrows his brows. Muttering something like 'it‘s about time you finally asked me.’

The blonde takes a breath and comes out with a statement. Not letting the nerves get to him because that was just an idiotic thing to do.

If you got nervous about something you didn’t want to do. You suffered twice. That’s what his grandfather had always told him.

Yurio’s expression darkens.

“Grandpa’s in the hospital. Yakov and Lilia are on their second honeymoon. And since you guys basically act like my parents… Well…”

Yuuri puts a hand to his mouth, touched. “Yurio…”

 _“You were lonely?”_ Viktor finishes the sentences, his own eyes widening in surprise.

“No!” The blonde blurts, incredulous. “I came here for a better reason than that.”

“Then what _was_ that reason?” Yuuri says patiently, back to normal. The curiosity of the predicament flowing through his veins.

Yurio’s bare feet daintily dust the floor.

“I… I met someone.” The Russian says sheepishly, “I don’t have real parents and it would be bad for Grandpa’s health right now if I told him. So I wanted to tell you guys instead. I figured you’d be able to help.”

“What!?” Viktor exclaims, _“Who?”_

Yuuri just stares at him, slack jawed. Oddly heart warmed by the sentiment of such a thing but not really knowing why Yurio had been putting it off for so long.

“Otabek Altin from last year’s Grand Prix series... He's my boyfriend.”

“What!” Viktor and Yuuri yell at the same time, their eyebrows practically getting caught in their hair.

Yurio looks at them strangely.

“I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out, I gave him a _thumbs up_ in front of you guys.”

The pair fix him with a dead gaze that told him that it definitely wasn’t obvious enough.

“Yurio, he’s too old for you~!” Viktor scolds, hands on his hips.

“He’s only two years older than me, you shouldn’t be the one talking you _cradle snatcher.”_ He narrows his eyes at Viktor, gesturing to Yuuri.

Viktor frowns at him, “That’s completely different, Yuuri and I are adults.”

“Viktor.” Yuuri stops him, “honestly I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Yurio’s practically an adult anyway!”

Yurio hmphs in agreement.

Viktor places a hand on his chin. “I suppose… But no naughty business until you’re eighteen!”

Yurio gapes at the Russian, his eyes going comically wide. “Y-you, don’t p-possibly think that we-“ He screws up his nose in incredulity, “We only just started holding hands!”

There’s silence in the room for a moment. Yurio’s gaze is reacquainted with the floor. And Viktor’s and Yuuri’s eyes meet each other’s again.

The pair burst out laughing.

“ _Oh my god!_ That’s adorable!” Viktor guffaws from the floor he’d just fallen onto, hitting the tatami mats below him hysterically.

Yurio goes red and sputters out a bunch of nonsensical sentences. His brain going to overdrive for being humiliated like this.

He should have just lied and said that they were fucking.

_“Yeah, that’s right, Otabek and I are doing all kinds of 'the sex'.”_

_Brilliant._

Unfortunately though, the sound of Yuuri and Viktor cackling is proof enough of his failure.

\---

Once the pair on the floor both recover, they smile up at him.

Yuuri wipes a tear out of his eye, “That’s great Yuri, I’m so happy for you.”

“Yeah, if you need anything. Don’t hesitate to ask us.”

“After that display? I might hesitate a little.” Yurio scowls.

Viktor lets out a disgruntled sound. “Aw come on… It’s just we never see you get to be so-“

“-Cute!” Yuuri finishes. “It’s nice to see that in you sometimes.”

“I am not cute! I am the tiger of Russia!” Yurio roars, baring his teeth in a way to apparently remind the two before him that he was very scary.

“Oh please, you are a kitten with anger issues.” Viktor responds playfully.

“I do not-“ Yurio’s tangent is stopped when Viktor gestures to the rather full swear jar at the end of the table.

He huffs at it. 

“Good luck getting any more money out of me. I’ll make sure not to swear.” Yurio says it like it’s supposed to inconvenience Yuuri and Viktor.

When in reality they couldn’t be happier.

 

-Week 4-

Total Money Count: 5800 Yen.

Yurio does keep to his word. He doesn’t say another expletive (at least in front of Viktor and Yuuri.)

However, there is someone that does.

Its late afternoon and Yuuri had left the room a few minutes ago to grab some drinks.

Viktor and Yurio had just begun another game of jenga (terrible idea) when they heard it.

Approaching foot steps that made the same sound as Yuuri’s slippers. It was definitely him, there was no doubt about it. The sound of drink sloshing around on a tray was prominent along side it.

Yuuri smiles contentedly at the two at the table as he passes through the doorway.

Meaning he doesn’t look where he is going and brutally smashes his toe against the piece of wood Yurio had been falling over for weeks.

The drinks go down like a pile of bricks but Yuuri’s far too fixated on his reddened toe to really notice.

Viktor’s just about to go and help him when both Yurio and Viktor freeze.

“Fucking shit all over my fucking asshole you piece of shit, Ouch, this hurts like a bitch.” Yuuri utters furiously, clutching his foot.

Viktor and Yurio sit there, gobsmacked over the string of curses that Yuuri had just blessed their ears with.

Apparently no one is a good enough person to withstand jamming your toe without screaming some kind of bloody murder.

At least they all could agree with that.

Yuuri doesn't mention it afterwards, he just puts 600 yen into the jar and takes another block off the jenga tower.

**Author's Note:**

> i edited this with one of those text to speech things and let me tell you that theres nothing funnier than a computerised voice saying curse words...
> 
> Find me @pearliegrimm on tumblr ;)


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